As you know, I have been reading a book titled How to Read the Bible, subtitled A Guide to scripture, Then and Now, by James Kugel. Kugel is a very educated Orthodox Jew and his education naturally comes through in this book in his choice of words and in the way he presents material.
If one is not familiar with Bible scholarship, they will find themselves consulting a dictionary frequently to truly understand the text. Not the text he writes about. The text he uses to describe the text he writes about.
I have encountered so many new words and phrases my head swims. And the ideas and methods that Bible scholars use (new to me) sort of jumble together in my mind until he has explained them in enough different ways with enough different illustrations that I begin to sort them out.
All of this learning and learning is of almost no value to me in everyday life. I could never use the words I have learned in any conversation. First of all, I’d probably not use them exactly properly, and second, no one I know would know what I was talking about.
So, I look at myself and wonder why I am so weird. I enjoy this. And I can hardly walk by the book without picking it up and reading a few or lots of pages.
There is a scripture in the Bible that addresses this sort of behavior. I quote the KJV here because it is the most familiar to me, and I quote the entire first 7 verses of 2 Timothy 3, to set the stage:
2 Timothy 3
1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. 2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, 4 Traitors, heady, high minded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; 5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. 6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, 7 Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
Confession: Having been raised under a hand of guilt instead of grace, I have always had verse 5 ringing in my ears. “Having a form of Godliness, but denying the power thereof…”
I realize that a monotheistic religion is senseless if we reject the power of the God we strive to serve. Being a Christian, I of course am monotheistic. And I believe that if I am to be rewarded at the end of this mortal life I must be in relationship with God.
All of that to say I fear being found denying the power of God in my quest for God. It is almost like in my search for meaning I have set myself up for failure because I am reaching beyond the simple belief and believability spirit with which I was raised.
However. That fear is secondary to my quest. So on I plod, trying to find the real writings of the ancients to satisfy myself, that the writings were NOT the hand or voice of God in the literal sense, but simply the impressions of men’s own thought processes as they allowed their inner being to be influenced by a entity that I can only name as the Holy Spirit.
And, I believe I am continuing in the same vein, trying to make sense of a very complex and convoluted set of writings whose origins and authors are not precisely known.
For anyone still checking, Thanks. If you choose to opt out, I wouldn’t blame you. I may have to soon in order to get more sleep!
