Dates have profound effects on us. In many parts of the world, certain dates are thought to hold power to render actions on that date either successful or doomed to failure. In this society in which we live, we too are emotionally tied to certain dates. Our birthday is probably the first date that becomes significant to us. When we enter school and begin to see what historians have decided are important dates we add some of them to our list of significance as well. July 4th is one we observe in this country. Less as we become more integrated. Christmas is one that takes on many different meanings to people, but the date always seems to be held in some kind of sanctity. At least I don't hear of many who celebrate Christmas on a different date.
September 11 has become to this nation a date of significance. Prior to 2001, however, it was already of significance to my sister. It is her birthday. Yesterday was also a significant birthday in her life. My sister, as everyone who has access to this blog knows I think, is Asian. I am so happy my parents brought her into my life. I didn't get to know her until I was grown and had lived away from the family for a number of years. But she and I have always shared some similar values, experiences and great humor. She never fails to make me laugh. And for that I am grateful.
It is right now just moments after midnight on the 12th of September, so her birthday is over. But I received a note from her yesterday, and I want to share two lines she wrote. I have not gotten permission, but I hope she doesn't mind.
She wrote, "It is a reflective day for me. ... And a desire to send out the message to my birth mother that I am "OK" is really important to me.
I believe this is a key desire buried deep within our psyche. I know it was an unfulfilled desire of mine all of the years after I had left home until my mom died. I always was searching for a way to have her understand I was doing OK. Into death she carried the belief that I was wayward and not on the right track.
I hope Amari has the opportunity at some point in her life to return to Ethiopia and find her birth mother and tell her what a brave thing she did by allowing another person, half way around the world, raise her daughter so she would have a chance to become something in life.
There are dates stuck in my head and heart as well. Some of the dates are obscure in my memory as to the calendar date, but the moment in my emotional time line is etched deep in the cell walls of my memory.
Dates are mileposts in our lives that signify important decisions, actions, and events. Some of them are good, some of them not so good. The more good dates we can string together in life the happier our lives.
I wonder what is the MOST significant date in your life to this point? You don't need to write to tell me, but ponder on it. I hope it is a good moment.
